Mentorship Done Right?

 Is there a "right" way or a "wrong" way to be a mentor?  I would say there are some pretty obvious "wrong" ways:

  • Never talking to your protege == WRONG
  • Not listening to your protege == WRONG
  • Not showing any interest in your protege == WRONG
  • Not answering questions while also not trying to find answers == WRONG
  • Mentoring just to "check a box" == WRONG
These "wrongs" are pretty obvious, by after reviewing the "Advanced Mentoring" project from Toastmasters, I realized there was a key thing I'm not doing as a mentor that I really should, and that's getting feedback on how I'm doing.

As with most things, I can't really know if I'm doing well or not unless I have some way to assess how I'm doing.  With being a mentor, that means checking with my protege from time to time on how our relationship is going.  Toastmasters provides some questions both for regular (suggested monthly) check-ins on the relationship as well as for a potential "turning point" in the relationship where the protege can decide if they want to continue in the mentoring relationship or not (suggested after 6 months).

When I mentor someone either within or outside Toastmasters, I try to meet with them regularly (though I have sometimes dropped the ball on this) to answer questions, ask about their goals and how they are progressing on those goals, offer any advice they ask for, and generally check-in on how they are doing.  Very rarely if ever do I ask them for feedback on how the mentorship relationship itself is going.  After reviewing this content, I realize getting that feedback is something I should do.  I'm not sure it needs to be as frequently as monthly, but I should check in to see if they are getting value from our relationship, what works well, what we can improve, and if they want to continue.  Sometimes this might even result in helping the protege find a different mentor who is a better fit.

Mentorship done right is listening, showing interest, answer questions, helping with goals, encouraging, and also making sure the mentorship itself is meeting the needs of the protege.  This collection of feedback on how I do as a mentor is something I hope to act on in the weeks, months, and years ahead.

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