Asking for Help

It never ceases to amaze me how much more likely people are to help you if you ask them for help.  It also seems that how you ask matters.

I have seen this in Toastmasters:  when we send out a general, untargeted call for help, we get very few responses.  When we are more specific either about what we need or who we are asking, we tend to get better responses.  I've noticed this especially with emails asking for help.  When I send a broad email to a large group asking for a response, it seems like I get fewer responses than if I email and address each person individually.  I think people appreciate a personal ask more than a broad call for help.  They also feel more compelled to respond if you have messaged them directly vs sending out a general post or email.

I also found that people want to know the expectations behind what you are asking them to do.  Just yesterday I announced at a Toastmasters leadership meeting that we would be looking for PR assistance in the next Toastmasters year (starting July 1), and I got a private message from someone who was interested but wanted to know more details of what would be expected in the role.  This reminded me that just a general statement like, "we need help with PR" is insufficient.  People want to know what you are asking them to do and also how much time it will take.

I hope to take these lessons learned to my work place and other parts of my life as well:  ask for help, but make it targeted and know exactly what you need from people.  

What do I need from you who are reading this?  Add a comment to this post telling me how you will ask for help in a more specific manner going forward.  Give a specific example (eg, "I will tell people I need help proofreading my emails for about one hour per week") or a general technique (eg, "I will send individual emails when I need help instead of large group emails.").  As is always the case with Toastmasters, we will keep learning together, which is best achieved when we ask for help.